Well, I don’t if you can truly make up for missing Mother’s Day the first time your wife is a mother… Yes, I blew it, totally did nothing for Mother’s Day this year.  I’ll wait while you scream angry epithets at your screen or stare in disbelief as you re-read that last sentence.

You’re right.  How could I?  It’s inexcusable.  After so many years of yearning and longing for motherhood, and I let her down.  I know.  Appalling, isn’t it?

While it is shameful to have done nothing special for Allyson this year, I’ll at least tell you why.  Mother’s Day, if you don’t already know, is always a difficult day for us.  Allyson’s Mom died in 1998.  They were best friends, and thoughts like this creep in every year:

Why did Robin have to die?
Why Allyson’s Mom, when she was such an amazing person?
Why don’t our kids ever get to know her as a grandmother?
Why did it have to work out like this?
Does God even care?

For years we have wanted to have our own biological children.  Trusting the Lord, we  have seen this as His plan, and so have not pursued medical alternatives (not saying those are wrong).  It’s normal, right?  I’ve found most women can deeply identify with the desire to mother children.  It just never worked out for us.  Frustration.  Hurt.  Anger.  Pain.  Repeat.

Doing my best to make up for my huge miss, I went out today and got some plants for Allyson.  Few things make her happier in this world (probably cats and ice cream rank higher).  I wrote her an awful poem, and left these out on the front porch for her to enjoy:

Hibiscus

Hydrangeas

Daisies

Probably didn’t make up for my blunder in missing Mother’s Day, but it may have at least served to soothe the pain a little bit.  Allyson is an amazing woman, and one who deeply loves all the children in her life.  She is a terrific mother, and I can only imagine how she will continue to get even better as the years go by.

So here’s to mothers, and especially the one I’m married to.  So sorry I missed the day, Babe.  I love you, no matter how many kids come and go, and maybe even stay, in our lives.

– Chad